Marriage Rant - What Defines a Family?

It's been some time since I ranted about marriage. I know everyone has missed this. We won't revisit the reasons John and I are choosing to be together but not get married. But that's where things stand.We're going to be getting our own house again. Some time in the future we'll probably have some kids. We'll have a backyard garden. We'll travel together. We'll sleep together. He'll follow the ambulance when I get sent to the E.R. I'll yell at him for leaving his clothes on the floor. We'll share a house payment.

I could go on, but I won't. The point is, in many ways our life mirrors that of married couples. What really separates us from them? We aren't standing up in front of family and friends, or even just a judge, and signing a piece of paper that says we'll stay together. Instead that's been kept between us.

So now, why is it that we cannot get a family membership at a gym without the state saying we're a family?

Seriously, what is a family? Two gay men living alone. Two straight people. Straight people and 10 kids. A lesbian couple with 1 kid. Two old ladies just taking care of one another after their husbands pass. A grandparent and grandchild. A great aunt and some kids. A mom and some kids. A single dad.

I understand facilities want to make money and don't want to be screwed by some random roommates who want to save a dime. They can roll up, say they're a couple with the same address on their ID, and who's to tell they're lying. I have no way to stop people from doing things like that. But the rule is discriminating against non-married. And what about gay couples who can't legally marry? They could easily be two friends who are lying about their relationship. Or they could be a family who deserves the family discount. I can bring in any random kid who shares my address and they can be my child on the family membership. Why can't the same apply for my spouse?

Some would argue that if I want these rites I should just go out and get married. If my relationship is the same as a married couple, why not just sign the paper. Well, these are my beliefs - that I shouldn't have to get married to prove my relationship is real. And I won't give in just to get $30 bucks off a gym membership. That's taking the easy way out. Instead I will continue to hope that we start recognizing that there are many different forms of a family in this country and it'd be great if organizations would work with those of us who don't just want to do things the way society says we should.

Note: This was supposed to include a few more real points but I keep getting distracted. So this is all you get.

Note2: This gym also limits a family membership to 5 people, meaning if you have more than 3 kids you're screwed (unless a single parent). You pay for each member after 2, so why the limit? Why does that fourth kid cost you and extra $100?