Yesterday's post turned out to be way more depressing than I intended. I just wanted to listen to that song and it turned all crazy. Anyway, feeling much better today. I actually have been revising poetry all morning. And have so far not wanted to burn any of it. That's a good sign. I did delete a very lovely stanza though. And that was sad. But the poem is thankful.
I would like to go outside now and take a walk or something, but the rain continues to linger. I could always take a walk in the rain, but that's an entirely different mood.
Perhaps I will stay locked to the computer and get to work on my lit mag.
Saturday, April 12, 2008
Friday, April 11, 2008
La Vie Boheme
This is a clip from "Rent," one of my favorite musicals. Once, this song fit me perfectly. I was the "crazy liberal" of the family who stood up for what she believed in and cared about living life to its fullest. A friend and I even sung part of this song in a bar once. Crazy times.
In the movie, Mark gets a job and ends up feeling he sold out because he's not focused on his art anymore. Recently, I have been feeling the same way. I am so busy with school and work that I do not have the time or energy to be firey like I used to be. Not that I have lost my ability to stand up for what I believe in, it's just different.And I do still have my writing, because of school, but it is a very different thing to write and to write for school. I'm certainly not dancing on the bars screaming for tolerance anymore. And not staying up until 3am working on a novel.
I have come to realize that its probably good that my life has changed. I can't be a wild college student forever. I'm glad that I've grown up and all that. But still, there's a difference between being responsible and losing part of yourself. I don't think people see this fire in me very often anymore, and that's just sad.
Anyway, just enjoy the clip!
In the movie, Mark gets a job and ends up feeling he sold out because he's not focused on his art anymore. Recently, I have been feeling the same way. I am so busy with school and work that I do not have the time or energy to be firey like I used to be. Not that I have lost my ability to stand up for what I believe in, it's just different.And I do still have my writing, because of school, but it is a very different thing to write and to write for school. I'm certainly not dancing on the bars screaming for tolerance anymore. And not staying up until 3am working on a novel.
I have come to realize that its probably good that my life has changed. I can't be a wild college student forever. I'm glad that I've grown up and all that. But still, there's a difference between being responsible and losing part of yourself. I don't think people see this fire in me very often anymore, and that's just sad.
Anyway, just enjoy the clip!
Tuesday, April 8, 2008
Reasons To Not Get Married
Most people who know me well know that I have an odd aversion to marriage. Odd in that I want to get married some day, but in a way also do not. It's quite difficult to explain. Mostly, I just try not to. Sometimes my poetry reflects these anti-marriage/pro-love sentiments, but that can only make my audience more confused. I don't expect people to understand. I just wish people would stop asking me why I have no ring on my finger. I will when I am good and ready!
Anyway, I figure in order to clear my head a bit, I need to make a list. Or two. One for reasons not to get married, and one of reasons to get married. I will occasionally post reasons here.
Like this:
Reasons To Not Get Married:
1. All your friends are doing it.
2. You're almost 25 and you always said you'd be married by the time you were 25.
3. You found the perfect dress.
Anyway, I figure in order to clear my head a bit, I need to make a list. Or two. One for reasons not to get married, and one of reasons to get married. I will occasionally post reasons here.
Like this:
Reasons To Not Get Married:
1. All your friends are doing it.
2. You're almost 25 and you always said you'd be married by the time you were 25.
3. You found the perfect dress.
Monday, April 7, 2008
Vegas in a nutshell
Flying over Denver's night lights made me smile. 5.5 hours on a plane did not. Very little sleep. Cool morning breeze. The smell of dirt and flowers. People trimming gardens. Fountains that weren't frozen. Construction. Walking. Flip flops with jewels. No we are not married. We don't want your free shows. Wet palms. Taste of spring on my tongue. Playing craps and rolling sixes. Mr. M likes his fours. Crazy old man bets $400 on the 10. Walking down the strip. Mango smoothie. Meeting friends. Walking back down the strip. Blisters on feet. Part monorail, part walking down the strip again. Teaching slots. Up early. Berry Martini for breakfast. Down the hall to meet the bride. Champagne and cookies with makeup and dresses. Me in a hot black one. Boys losing money when they should have been getting dressed. A quick sprint over to the chapel. A Vegas wedding just like in the movies. Pictures inside. Pictures outside. Pictures inside. A small snack. Lounging. Walking barefoot through a casino. Heels suck. Diner with Russians. Biggest chicken ever plated. Lots of chocolate cake. Statue with no head. Cab ride down the strip Fountain show. Seeing the lights. Man preaching about God and sinners when "What if God were one of us" comes on the speakers. More fountain romance. Two cripples hobble back to the hotel.
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