Just an FYI to all...you may want to remember this and tell my future boyfriend if he's ever about to propose.
I read an article recently about a woman who refuses to give back an engagement ring after the wedding was called off. It made news because it was a crazy expensive ring. Everyone's pissed at the woman because apparently engagement rings are a contract for marriage. If the marriage isn't happening, the contract is no longer valid, and therefore she should give it back.
So everyone knows, I will never give a ring back. Hopefully I will never accept a ring from someone I don't actually marry, but just go with me. I also may end up with a ring and not actually get legally wed. I don't really care if tradition calls a ring a contract. I think that's the most unromantic way to look at the situation. I may toss it in the ocean or something crazy like that, but I consider it mine to do with as I please. It is not my finace's property that's on loan to me until I follow through on some promise.
Here's how I see it. Man decides he wants to marry girl. Man gives girl a gift (the ring) to symbolize that he loves her enough to promise himself to her forever. It's not a gift saying hey, I'm gonna give you this ring so you have to give yourself to me forever. That sounds too much like a man buying a guaranteed lay or something ridiculous like that. I know many people still look at marriage in this way, but I refuse to.
So yeah, if someone gives me a gift, I'm not giving it back, even if that person is no longer in my life. I have gifts from my father but I didn't burn them or give them back just because he and I don't speak. Same goes for an engagement ring. I won't wear it anymore, obviously, but it meant something to me at some time, so I would want to hang on to it.
I also think the woman should give a man a gift upon an engagement. It may not be a ring, since guys don't really like them usually. But if he's saying "Here's this gift, love me forever" she should respond with "Ok, love me forever too, here's a nice watch (or whatever). I realize this is pretty much what wedding rings are for, but if the guy does something at the engagement, why doesn't the woman? In this same vain, if a girl doesn't want a diamond ring, any other gift is acceptable.
