Ghost hunting in PA

My brother, sister-in-law, and I went exploring this weekend. We went to the Twin Tunnels, which are supposedly haunted by a guy who hung himself from a wire between the two tunnels. My camera screen got a weird purple streak across it at one point but nothing actually showed up in the picture.

We also tried to find a portal to hell not too far from the tunnels. The gates that used to be there are gone, so this was kind of difficult. I did feel weird as we got close to where it should be though. Perhaps it was just eager anticipation.

With your pain, there is hope.

This is a quote from the show Brothers and Sisters. Not relevant to me today, but it fits well with the roller coaster of the last year. And it's just nice.

There are no shortcuts Sarah, in life or in love. This pain must be felt. The alternative is much worse. It's what makes us special, what makes us beautiful, what, what makes us worthy; the pain of how we love. But that pain is accompanied by something else, isn't it? Hope. With your pain, there is hope. And that is where you are. Somewhere between agony and optimism and prayer. So you're human. You're alive. And that is what we have.

A date?!

"I would like to take you out on a date. You should dress up."

I feel overwhelmed today. Work is busy; I have freelance work to do. And really the only coherent thing I can give you is that the above quote is the best way I can explain my current relationship with John. I have no idea what else is going on in my life at the moment so this blog is lame.

Disappointments

I feel like I could come up with quite a long list of disappointments if I tried. There have been some tough times in my life. But ultimately, I think up until recently I've been able to feel like the people who disappointed me I was actually better off without. I mean really, my stepdad was a huge disappointment but I know that my life is a thousand times better without him in it. So while suffering for years and getting to this realization was not fun, in the end, I'm a better person for it.

Then there are other disappointments that have left people still in my life but in a different capacity. Events have made me realize they aren't best friend of closet family member material. Yet they still have their place. I just know I can only let myself care so much because that person only cares for me in certain ways.

But certain things have made me wonder if I set myself up for disappointment. Or if I am always going to be the one who cares more. My heart is so open and for those that I care about, I really care. There are people that I would drop everything for. And it seems some that feel the same about me. But I keep getting in these situations where I feel like I'm the only one in the relationship who wants to put forth the effort. And I get disappointed when I don't get what I need from the relationship. So am I doomed to always care so much that I will be disappointed when other people aren't putting the same amount of energy into the relationship? Or am I just hanging out with all the wrong people?

*sigh* This post is way too depressing.

‎"If we will be quiet and ready enough, we shall find compensation in every disappointment." ~ Henry David Thoreau

Hampton Mansion/Cemetery

Friends and I went to visit Hampton, a historic mansion in Maryland. We got to see the mansion, the cemetery, and the ice house. The angel is my favorite.

Winter Wonderland

Snow and ice around St. Louis.

Heading Home

Despite not seeing John this weekend (stupid guys only weekend!) these last few days have been lovely. Or I'm in a fantastic mood right now because I will soon be back in St. Louis. Whatever. So, a few things:

I love buying gifts. I only buy for my immediate family and Julie and John because that's 9 people including my sister-in-law. And well, I have limited funds. I always have to force myself to stop buying stuff because I have to stick to my budget. But I have like 10 things I want to give And somehow every year when I start shopping I can't think of what to get people. Weird, right? Anyway, I have to buy some jelly beans for the boys (it was on the list) but otherwise everything's finished. This completion required a trip to Bath and Body Works, Kohls, and Target. And let me tell you, it was a mad house everywhere. There's a reason I do most of my shopping online.

I wanted to buy John a zombie teddy bear but couldn't find one. Someone should really make this an easier purchase b/c it's a great idea.

I watched Love Actually over the weekend. Never gets old. I was a crazy crying mess, but in all the good ways. Not my favorite "couple" but this is a nice video and good song: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YYw8cy7Kz4U

I've been watching Rescue Me lately. It's a pretty good show despite being full of some racist, sexist guys. And there are no good women on the show. I kind of want to strangle them all. But I still like it. Just um, ladies, don't sleep with your ex husband's brother. It makes you look really bitchy.

I was going to write some stuff about family woes and the holidays but I don't even want to get into it. It's all the same stuff and I want my holiday to be peaceful so it's not worth getting into.

Same thing with today's big news, which I'll just write about later.

So yes. Tomorrow is going to be a very slow day at work. It's my last day for the week and I'm giddy with excitement so it's going to be hard to get through. But at 5:00 I will be headed to Baltimore for an evening with John and then getting up at 4am to fly home!! I can't wait to see the fam and my puppy!

This post is not that exciting so here's a great song.

Why cars are bad

Yesterday it snowed all of 2 inches. They don't know what snow plows or salt are in the Maryland-D.C-Virgina area. Recall last years multiple blizzards. Totally unprepared. 2 inches should be easy to clean. And really, this morning the roads were ok so I should not complain too much. Yesterday though, they were a mess. And people completely freaked out. Luckily my car and I made it home without incident. Other cars, not so lucky.

Then this morning my car wouldn't start. Not what I needed. But I got my brain on straight and realized I probably just needed a new battery. So my roommate's man friend gave me a jump and I went to the auto parts store. My battery was indeed dead. So the guy puts in the new battery. Nothing. Not even a hint of power. At this point I start to panic a little and want to cry. Oddly I just want to go to work! But silly auto man tries again and the car then works. Apparently he just hooked something up wrong. So far the car is still running. Thank goodness that was easy.

In other news, my roommate is having the week from hell. He got bit by a dog, scratched his friend's car, Joey got kennel cough, and today he wound up in the ER with atrial fibrillation and had to get his hear shocked back into a proper rhythm. And I thought I was having a bad day!

In happy news, my boss and immediate manager took me out to lunch today as a thank you for the two weeks were I worked crazy overtime (while sick with pneumonia/bronchitis/whatever the antibiotics cured). It was a nice 2 hours of yummy food and actually sitting and chatting with them. I was told (short versions) 1) Don't ever leave me, I need you! 2)I hope you and John work out but either way you're crazy strong for fighting through all this and 3) John = so hot!

Holiday Party

Friday night was our company holiday party at the Air and Space Museum. One of the perks of working in the DC area. But I request next year we go somewhere like the Native American History museum which is more up my alley. I can only handle so much aircraft.

John and I all fancied up.



Coworker's boyfriend and John with their wine glasses full of scotch. Kyle really wanted to drink scotch in Apollo but they kind of frown on people climbing into the exhibits.

Sick and busy

I've had this crazy cough all week. I may actually have to go to the doctor tomorrow to make sure I don't have anything antibiotics-worthy. I have given it to a coworker and to John. I think Gabe gave it to me so I'll blame him for giving it to Kelly. Started with a raging fever and now just needs to go away.

Also I worked 50 hours last week and this week may be the same. But if I get through Friday without dying, I'll be happy. Cause then it's our holiday party!! And it should be slow then until after the New Year.

Not much else to report.