Disappointments

I feel like I could come up with quite a long list of disappointments if I tried. There have been some tough times in my life. But ultimately, I think up until recently I've been able to feel like the people who disappointed me I was actually better off without. I mean really, my stepdad was a huge disappointment but I know that my life is a thousand times better without him in it. So while suffering for years and getting to this realization was not fun, in the end, I'm a better person for it.

Then there are other disappointments that have left people still in my life but in a different capacity. Events have made me realize they aren't best friend of closet family member material. Yet they still have their place. I just know I can only let myself care so much because that person only cares for me in certain ways.

But certain things have made me wonder if I set myself up for disappointment. Or if I am always going to be the one who cares more. My heart is so open and for those that I care about, I really care. There are people that I would drop everything for. And it seems some that feel the same about me. But I keep getting in these situations where I feel like I'm the only one in the relationship who wants to put forth the effort. And I get disappointed when I don't get what I need from the relationship. So am I doomed to always care so much that I will be disappointed when other people aren't putting the same amount of energy into the relationship? Or am I just hanging out with all the wrong people?

*sigh* This post is way too depressing.

‎"If we will be quiet and ready enough, we shall find compensation in every disappointment." ~ Henry David Thoreau