Family Drama

My extended family has completely forgotten what it means to be a family. The would rather have cats than see their sister, niece, nephews. They would rather go out on dates then go to a birthday party. They would rather sit by a fire and sulk then eat Thanksgiving with each other.

And they still think it's ok to complain about family members not being present-when it's their own fault they can't be invited.

They are divorced multiple times. And they think it's ok to diminish my relationship just because I'm not married.

I just wrote a long letter to my family about these various issues.I don't think they will change at all, but at least it's been said. And I have stood up for myself.

I need to do the same to the other side of the family-that's only one person though-who is withholding a gift until I get married, and thinks my brothers are wild animals and therefore intolerable. But I won't do that because apparently, I still have some respect for my elders.

Even when they don't deserve it.

At least my immediate family is pumped about my homecoming.

5 down, 1 to go!

Semesters that is. School is over for the semester which means I only have one more until I graduate. It is a good feeling.

Today I actually sat and stared at a book for 10 minutes, trying to figure out what else I was supposed to be doing. After 10 minutes I realized the answer was "nothing". Only then was I actually able to sit down and read the book for pleasure.

Then I got bored and started trying to organize my collection of poems into a somewhat meaningful order. I failed.

Thanksgiving Recap

The best way to sum up my holiday is "I Love/Miss My Mom!"

Wednesday-I left work early, certain that I was getting sick. I didn't have any work to do, so I didn't feel guilty about cutting out. Came home and took some Vitamin C and a nap. Finished cleaning and stuff.

Thursday-I have no idea what I did all day. Went to John's grandparent's house. Had a little wine and a lot of food. I was too full for pie, which I now realize was a terrible excuse not to shove some in. Oh well. Learned some interesting news, which will not be revealed here until late January. Actually, I had first heard this news on Sunday, but turkey day made it quite real.

Friday-tried to do some homework in the morning barely got anything done, went grocery shopping, then it was to the airport. Mom arrived right on time. We had lunch, came home and chilled until John got home, then went out for dinner.

Saturday-drove to PA to see Brad and Jenny. It was a lovely drive. Mom got to see their house. We went to a bunch of cute shops. Also had a nice meal. I started to realize my social outings now are all pretty much just meals.

Sunday: Drove around in PA some more. Went for ice cream. Got stuck in both holiday and rainy traffic. Had a terrible headache, so I made John drive the second half of the trip. I think it took us twice as long to get home as it did to drive up. Boo to that!

Monday: Went to get a Christmas tree. Decorated while listening to Christmas music and drinking Bailey's Irish Cream. The bottle is nearly empty. Took Mom to the airport. Was very sad to see her go. Well, a few hours later, she was back. There were some issues with the plane, so the flight was delayed. Since that was going to make her miss her second flight, she just got a new schedule for this morning.

Tuesday: Woke up early to take Mom to the airport. Somehow managed to make it to work on time. So now it's back to the grind.

All-in-all, it was a great weekend. It made me completely geared up for Christmas. I am so ready to be home with my family. Unfortunately, I have somehow stop being so distracted by those thoughts so I can finish up the semester.

Book Title

In case you haven't noticed, I've put up a poll. Please vote on what I should call my book of poetry (due out this spring!). If you have already voted, feel free to comment on why you picked that title.

We have to have a title on the first day of class, and those are just a few I came up with in recent ponderings. It could be that none of these ends up being my title, as we'll me editing next semester, but I think polls are fun.

The Blues

I've been trying to write the blues, well a poem in the Blues style of Langston Hughes, all weekend. I apparently do not have the blues. This should be a nice revelation. Today I just find it frustrating.

Travel Dreams

I keep having these dreams where I am on vacation with my family. There's been about one a month for the last 9 months or so. I'm always having a great time with my mom and brothers until I realize my step-father is there too.

Last night I told him that he was intruding. I said I wished I could for give him but was still too angry to even be around him. Then he started crying. Really fat tears.

I imagine I was subconsciously feeling sorry for him. His mother just died on Wednesday. My once grandmother. But I just can't make myself feel sad outside of my dreams.

Murder Mystery

Last night we went to a Murder Mystery Party for a friend's birthday. It was set at a Vegas casino. John was the owner, Ronald Trump. I was a showgirl, Lucy Legs. I am happy to say I did not die and I was not the murderer. Yay! Of course, I also didn't figure out who did it. Most people would only talk to me about my show. They weren't giving away clues. Oddly enough, the birthday girl killed her birthday boy husband. Just to protect her winnings.

Outline of the body-why he's so happy, I do not know.


Trying to figure out who did it.


The dead guy and the security guard


Who gave the murder a knife?


Trying to get some money out of my boss

The Hour I First Believed

So I discovered that Wally Lamb has a new book. Yay! I am excited to read The Hour I First Believed, but I will be waiting for the paperback. I just really don't like hardcover books. It's a weird tick of mine. Now the real frustration. Here's one part of the description on Amazon:

"While Maureen fights to regain her sanity, Caelum discovers a cache of old diaries, letters, and newspaper clippings in an upstairs bedroom of his family's house. The colorful and intriguing story they recount spans five generations of Quirk family ancestors, from the Civil War era to Caelum's own troubled childhood. Piece by piece, Caelum reconstructs the lives of the women and men whose legacy he bears. Unimaginable secrets emerge; long-buried fear, anger, guilt, and grief rise to the surface."

I read that and thought "he stole my book!" And of course Wally Lamb could get it published. He's great. But where does that leave me? Now, obviously crazy Ainsley going through diaries, letters, and newspaper clippings to learn about her family is a bit different. But still it was really an upsetting moment. I got over it and now want to go work on my novel. However, I need to go read some Langston Hughes. *sigh*

Grr Holidays!

So for the first time John and I have run into the problem of where to spend the holidays. It used to make so much sense to spend Thanksgiving with his family and Christmas with mine... apparently that's not the case anymore.

Making these kinds of decisions is really not cool.

M poem

ahh typography, apparently I'm not terrible at this.