Sex and the City

Remember way back before when I wasn't depressed and used to rant a lot about marriage and weddings? Yeah, I got something to say again!

So it's been stewing in me all week. Last Friday I had a nice evening alone so I decided to sit back and relax with a movie. Sex and the City was on sale, I hadn't seen it, and really, it seemed like the thing to do. It made me mad!

I guess it doesn't help that I never liked Carrie to begin with. Still, the show is good. I don't know why, girlfriends talking about sex all the time is fun. Ok, so Carrie and Big finally decide to get married. This should be good right? No! Carrie decides she needs to get married because she and Big decide to move in together. She then proceeds to freak out and get scared about things like "what will happen if he becomes a douche bag and leaves me, and I've given up my apartment and end up stranded?" They've been together 10 years, are perfectly happy, and she starts to freak out. And apparently marriage is the answer. Because then, she'll at least not end up screwed.

Now, I understand there are fears. I just had to give up my house and had to find a new place to live and go through a lot of those awful break up things. And I didn't have a piece of paper to protect me. And yes, I happen to have a great ex who didn't try to screw me over, so I wasn't out on the street as Carrie feared. So maybe I just don't get it. But seriously...if you're so much in love that you're moving in together and are committing to forever, then stop being so scared that the guy is going to screw you over and just be happy! Yes, don't be stupid. Always have enough money to take care of yourself (hell, he could die to ya know) and all that, but marriage is not the answer. Not when you're doing it to protect yourself in case of a break up.

THEN! Then Carrie completely freaks out and the wedding goes from a nice normal wedding to this crazy New York fashion nightmare. And Big freaks out. Because the whole thing is not him, not her, and not them as a couple. Yeah, guys don't always get as into the wedding as the girl. So sometimes they get lost in the shuffle. But I like to believe this can be avoided. No, if he doesn't care about flowers, I'm not gonna make him care. I'm going to pick the ones I like. But if we agreed to 75 guests, I'm not going to suddenly have 200 and not give a damn about my husband's feelings. And Big, he has a point really...a reason to freak out. He doesn't feel like Carrie is acting like herself. She's this other person, not the person he loves. So, I'm not happy that he goes and leaves her at the alter (basically) he could have brought up the problem earlier, but I don't blame him for being upset.

So yeah, I had a hard time watching the movie and feeling bad for Carrie being all "broken-hearted".

And it just made me realize some things. I've been crazy lately-thinking that when I do get into a new relationship that I do want to get married. Because I am scared of getting hurt again. But duh, that's not gonna solve anything! And I'm glad I am looking at things this way again, because it's so much more me, and not crazy me.

And, I don't think there's any reason not to get married if you're really in love. I still may do that. But I want to stand by my feelings on weddings. It should be about you and your partner, not this elaborate show where the love gets lost in details like finding the perfect ribbon or in how much the salmon costs.

Sorry if this makes no sense, I just took some good pain killers since I had a needle stuck in my spine earlier. I'm loopy!