Roller Coaster

I feel like I'm on a roller coaster right now. I get myself to a place where I'm feeling ok, confident and ready to face the world again, and then it all comes crashing down.

Like Saturday, John and I were just here doing stuff then watching TV together like we were two old friends who had never dated and all was just cool. Then I watched like 9 hours of Desperate Housewives and had chocolate covered cherries and cried a lot.

Then yesterday, on my way home, I was actually writing this poem in my head. It was totally incoherent, but see, my middle name is Diane, after Diana the huntress...well maybe that's not what mom planned but anyway, I just was going with that...and I was totally ready to kill some daemons. I went to physical therapy, then had two errands. I got home, got an email, and I was back down to nothing...or below nothing, not sure.

I'm quite tired of feeling unstable.

I am also really learning who my real friends are through all of this. And learning that I am quite alone.

There's been some crazyness the last few days that I really need to talk to Kat about because I don't know that anyone else will understand besides her. It's making me feel really unlike myself. But is it? I think only she can answer that question.

And now there's a new baby in the world (and I won the bet!) and let's just say I am not handling it well, even though I knew it was coming and was ok before.