Embrace the Single Life?

Everyone keeps telling me that I need to embrace the single life. And maybe I do. Eventually. While I would rather just go straight into a new relationship, and continue on in happy suburbia bliss, I recognize that this is not the healthiest of decisions. So I'll get to that single life thing. But I'm just not there. Probably because I currently equate single life with negative things.

Now, don't get me wrong, I had a lot of fun as a single gal. And I know that I will have fun again. I am not one of those "I need a man" type people. I didn't have a man for a long time and I was fine with that. Hell, I was the one who was never going to have a boyfriend/husband and was just going to adopt kids. But, my life with John was going in such a positive direction. Now I keep looking at how much my life is changing and I see it all as steps backwards instead of steps forwards. No, I don't have to have him by my side to be happy (I will eventually get over him), but losing all the things that go with him make this suck even more.

To some the single life means partying, meeting tons of new people, not being tied down by work or family, living alone, something along the lines of college life. Well, to me, going back to college life is a big step backwards. Yes, college was fun, but it's also over. And I am glad it's over. I am not going to party all the time. I still have to work and support myself. But, I am going to be poor for awhile, so I guess that will be like college.

I'm sorry, but I was happy having a house, and a yard, a garden, and furniture (though minimal), almost a dog. I like life in suburbia. I loved what my future held. And I was having fun. I had those vacations and nights out still. So no, giving all that up to live alone in some tiny apartment that I can barely afford, where I'm working all the time and having to reorganize my social life does not really sound like fun.

I want to embrace the idea of this opportunity-to try new things and meet new people-but I have to figure out how to deal with finding a new place and job first. I have to feel settled. I have to stop being upset about all that I am being forced to give up. Then I guess I will tackle the next step.