Depressed

This may get way to personal and be deleted tomorrow when I actually realize that...but I'm feeling blah.

My dysfunctional family is wearing me down. Somehow, from miles away they still get to me. Mainly, life is wearing my mom down and said dysfunctional family is so dysfunctional that she has no support. She pretty much has me, who's across the country, and her best friend, who has a baby and is in grad school. Which doesn't leave a whole lot of love for the mom. And it's just really depressing. Because there's really nothing I can do.

There was a fire at home recently. Everyone was fine, even the dog, but the stove was ruined. It was engulfed in flames one morning. It wasn't even on, it just went wild. The firemen threw it on the back patio, actually. Aside from the microwave, though, nothing else was damaged. It was lucky that the house wasn't at all burnt. But the house was a mess. Mom's health was wonky due to smoke. Smoke also filled the entire house, so the air ducts had to be cleaned. And there was toxic ash got blown like everywhere since the AC had been on, so my family couldn't live there for a week and a half until it was appropriately cleaned.

And none of my family have been there to help.

Some have their opinions, though. Like, they criticize mom since she hasn't bought a new stove yet. I don't know, I wouldn't be buying a new stove is my kitchen was still covered in ash.

Due to their own problems, of course. All of which I am somehow in the middle of, even when I try not to be.

I just got this in an email:
"You have always been opinionated, and while I commend most of them, you have become quite bitter and judgemental toward many things and perhaps being so far away allows you to keep that emotional distance from us all."

Which may be partially true. I am insanely opinionated and I don't think a lot of my family realized this until the last few years, when I grew up and left home, and finally wasn't scared of their approval. So sometimes, when I speak out, I think they're still surprised. I think I probably am bitter to some extent, but to say I have an emotional distance is ridiculous, since all of this drama eats me up constantly. Eh, way to complicated to dissect these remarks.