Birthday Recap

I am 25, which according to my 13-19 year old selves, will be the greatest year of my life. I once figured 25 was a good age since you were out of school, probably in a good relationship (or old enough to realize a relationship wasn't everything) old enough to be have or be getting close to a great job, etc. Basically, 25 seemed to be when all the happy adult things really started to settle in. My younger self had so many dreams for being 25! Don't know if I still agree, but we shall see. I don't imagine it will be bad, so it should be a good year.

Anyway, for the birthday:
margaritas on Thursday
lazy Friday with John complete with a nap and Bride Wars
Saturday with the Cookseys: a walk with John, sister, baby, and two dogs to see the grandparents, a nice present to come (they're framing my diploma), watching John scoop up a baby in his arms and twirl her in the air, Trace Adkins (nice long hair, some funny songs, also a womanizer (boo)), baby dancing to music, fireworks in the arms of my love, scary drunk driver on the way home who did not swerve as we passed him!
another lazy day on Sunday, though I started to get back to my scrapbooks. (so behind!)

Ok, Death, we get the point

I don't care much about all these celebrity deaths, but it's getting a bit out of hand. Add on to that, the personal deaths this week and it's just scary. I'm pretty darn happy to be alive at this point.

A woman from my old church lost her brother this week. They had to take him off life support, so it was really rough.

There was also a plane crash in Arkansas, full of people from Missouri. 3 people died, two survived (so far). The one boy was the brother of one of Evan's (my brother) friends. One boy was a freshman at SLUH, where Evan is going to high school next year. That boy's father also died. All three of my brothers knew them.

So, no more sadness would be nice.

This has nothing to do with death, actually the very opposite, but-- I just found out about another pregnancy. Well, I found out last weekend but didn't want to talk about it. This baby has caused many conversations between John and I about people and why they have kids, and what it means to the rest of their lives. I know, when/if we have kids, our lives will still be great. Any grandparent would happily take our kids so we can still go out, and more importantly, still take a vacation just the two of us. Yeah, it's different, but I think we would be really good at not letting our friends be forgotten and not losing the romance. Some couples, it seems, have a harder time with this. And once that first kid arrives, they only have friends with kids or no friends at all. And are totally absorbed with the parenthood thing.

I guess this is all kind of annoying in that I am still so young. (with my birthday around the corner, I may forget that...25 is a crazy age!...but really, I am) I am not yet to the point where I want kids, I still want to be having a good time, solo. (or with John/friends, you get the point) But so many of our friends are in their early thirties, so it's not surprising that they are ready to start their families.

And along those same lines... I really need to figure out how to make more friends. I've always done it through school, and I don't have that any more. And all the friends we have now were first John's friends. This goes along with my need to get out and do more things. I think I may venture to the library's book club one of these days. And see what other groups there are around here. Maybe take canoeing lessons... not that it's hard, but it's a way to get into the "club". Still pondering that.

On a more positive note, I just had a very nice walk around the neighborhood. It started to sprinkle at the end, but that was actually very light, so it was pleasant.

I also made banana bread again. And it is delicious.

I had a small case of the travel bug earlier, and I decided that Washington state would be a very nice place to go. I was fascinated by pictures of one of the state parks. So I started looking into cabins and such that were nearby (since we all know, I like to plan random vacations). Anyway, one of the closest towns to this park is Forks, which is where Twilight is set. I immediately groaned. Then, on the main page of their website it says "Home of Twilight!" And one of the lodges has a Twilight package, complete with a map you can follow to trace the steps of the characters. That kind of turned me off to Washington temporarily. Though, I know I will go sometime, just won't dare stay in that town, or at that lodge.

I also decided that next time I plan a vacation, I'd like it to be more than just me and John. We go to the beach with his friends every year. I'd like to rent a large cabin with a bunch of my friends. So, if you're interested, sometime in the next few years, we need to plan a great vacation!

Crappy Week Turned Good?

So I thought the week was going well. On Tuesday I went down to D.C., to the Department of Homeland Security, for "Take Your Child To Work Day". It was pretty great showing the kids our magazine. I went with them to the presentation on border patrol dogs, and got to see two very cute puppies. All of this for work.

But then I learned that I was basically being forced to join the new project management team. This means no more editing. Since I was hired to be an editor and want to be an editor, this isn't exactly my idea of a fun job. Though everyone knows I am super organized, so I do make a good manager. I don't want to really go into details. The powers that be are trying to make it seem like I was given a choice in the matter, and that this is what's best for my career. But that's all ridiculous. So who knows what lies ahead with the job.

Anyway, I was stressed out and really upset all Weds/Thurs. And I had a lot left to edit on this book, that I just really wanted to finish. So I was not in a good mood.

So Friday I edited, then went to buy a tent (since we're planning our first camping trip!), and planted my lilies out front. Then I had my monthly massage, came home and had a nice dinner and watched Desperate Housewives for a few hours. All nice and calming, and John's been super understanding of my crappy mood.

Then today my graduation/birthday present arrived...a new laptop! So my mood is improving. (Actully FedEx tried to deliver it yesterday, literally 5 minutes after I left for my massage. Why did I not leave 5 minutes later?)

We have a BBQ tonight, which will probably be good... unless I get annoyed. We'll see. I will bring wine, I think.

More on Marriage

Warning: Not all of this makes sense unless you're in my head. I have trouble really explaining what I think when it comes to this topic.

If you've been around me... well ever... you probably have at least some sense about my feelings on marriage. To summarize: I'm not against marriage, but I don't think it's necessary.

Well, the more I think about it, the more reasons I have to not be married. Lately, I've been very against large weddings and the stress and cost, etc. I mean, take a look at my family at any one holiday/celebration in the last year and you're probably understand me not wanting them all in the same room. I always run interference, but I would not want to do that on my wedding day.

But that's a rant for another time.

Today, I am anti-marriage because of the government's ability to control it. There are many subcategories under this broad idea, but for now, my rant is spurred by this article.

To summarize: PA has two marriage licenses. One for those getting married by an officiant, one for those doing a "self-uniting" ceremony (which sounds fun, btw).

Well, there's become some issues in that people have become less religious and don't always want a religious ceremony. In which case, they can under the first license just get married by a judge. But, more and more people have turned to getting friends/family ordained online. Something that is now being challenged.

A ruling in 2007 said that "ministers ordained online were not authorized to conduct weddings because they did not have established congregations and church buildings."

This is what set me off.

The government is granting certain rites to those who get legally married. So, they do have some rights to decide what it means to be married. I agree that random people off the street can't just marry you, or it's not legal. But where do we draw the line in what the government can dictate and what we want to decide for ourselves about our lives.

I think my big issue is that this statement gives cult leaders more rights to marry people than some others. A minister ordained online did go through training, should know laws etc. In my opinion, they are schooled enough to be given the right to legally marry people. But, we will take away this right from them not because they don't have the education, but because they don't have followers or a church?

So then someone who starts a cult-as long as they have x-number of people and a building that they meet in, can marry as many people as they want-and they will be legally valid. Even if this person has no education whatsoever in marriage law, they can go ahead and do it.

So what I'm really saying is that there needs to be a distinction between church and state-an ongoing problem for me. If you want a legal marriage, then you get it done by a government official. If you want a religious marriage, go to your priest or minister. They are two completely different things. That's my new stance-if you want both, you get to have two ceremonies. Or, you just pick the one you want. But if you're married by a church, you only get the perks of being married under that religion. You cannot get all the government perks until a judge or statesman marries you.

This is the problem with gay marriage in our country, people confuse legal marriage with religious marriage. But again, a rant for another day.

Now, I actually don't think a legal marriage is necessary at all and if I say I am in a relationship, I should get any perks that people who marry get, but I will grant the government the right to do their thing because that's just the way it is. And I currently don't have the power to change it. I'm not going to get married just to get health insurance. I think if both parties agree to a "spouse" status, you should get that coverage regardless of a piece of paper. But that's not going to change any time soon, so I will just choose to forgo that. I could just get married and get all those "perks" but I choose not to. I get that.

USAA has it partially right though. John and I ran into a problem when we went to Colorado. I was told he could be added to our rental car for no fee because he was my "spouse". We just had to prove that we lived together. So I got my Maryland license and all that jazz so we had the same address. But the rental car people wouldn't add him because we weren't married. (which, btw, was stupid because they couldn't prove we weren't married based solely on the fact that we had different last names, since plenty of women don't change their names now.) Anyway, after the trip I argued with USAA and the rental car company and now have a nice piece of paper stating their policy on a spouse. Which is not defined only by a legal or religious marriage, but includes same-sex partners, and people living together. Basically, if you consider yourself a couple, you are one.

At least in terms of renting a car. I still haven't fought to get John a bank account, as my spouse. Not sure what they'll think about that.

Quote of the day: I don't want my life to be dictated by what other people think.

So yeah, don't expect wedding invites any time soon.

PS: I tried to find something corrupt about Maryland's marriage laws. I was annoyed that the license fee varies between counties and that you must marry in the county you get your license from, but this is just priceless:

Maryland does not have common-law marriage or same-sex marriage, but you can marry your cousin. How fucked up is that?

Twilight

After many people saying things like "you can't not like Twilight until you've actually read it" I read it. I now feel like I can bash it as much as I want. It's just not good.

Mainly because I am not 14. Nor was I, at 14, one to be like the current 14-year-old fans.

So I guess I should say the book was ok. I did manage to finish it and was interested enough in the plot to want to know where it was going. Of course, part of this was just hoping that at some point something good had to happen. But still, I have certainly read worse books in my life. And I don't regret reading this.

But the fact that this was a NY Times Bestseller pretty much makes me want to vomit. I would go on and on about that whole system and the publishing world in general, which has turned to a lot of crap for the sake of a paycheck, but we won't do that.

First of all, the main characters are juniors in high school but they act like Freshman. And yes, there is a huge, huge difference. Freshman to Sophomore even is a huge leap in maturity. So I was really bothered by the "love story" which was childish, overly dramatic, and...unbelievable? I don't know the right word. I mean, Mr. Teenage Vampire actually says something like "You are intoxicated by my very presense." Ugg!

Also, the "conflict" was just stupid. I expect vampires to be scary. Yes, this is full of "good" vampires, but even the "bad" one was pretty lame (except for bashing the girl's head into the glass wall at the ballet studio. I kind of liked that."

Oh, and I like this "venom" idea...sort of.

Anyway, here's my few line condensed version of Twilight, for any of you who don't want to put yourself through it. (but need a good laugh)

Bella: I'm emo Bella, I don't want to move to the dark rainy town of Forks.

Edward: You smell freakin amazing girl. Let me just smell your neck.

Bella: You're right, I am intoxicated by your very presence. *lunge* *kiss*

Edward: Dammit, you can't kiss me like that. It makes me want to eat you. This isn't right.

Bella: It's cool, I'm not scared of you.

Edward: Oh, so this other vampire wants to eat you now. Run away.

Bella: I have to save my mom. Oh wait, he doesn't actually have my mom. Crap. I'm gonna get eaten now.

Edward: Don't worry, I sucked the poison out of your hand. You won't turn into a vampire now.

Bella: What the hell did you do that for? I want to be a vampire. Bite me you fool!

Edward: No, it's just not right. Hey, let's go out tonight.

Bella: You took me to fucking prom. Dammit! I hate dancing.

Edward: It'll be fun. I love you.

Bella. I love you too. Make me a vampire.

Warning: Sappy Memory

So through following links from comments in other blogs (first stop Rose, next stop Tea contest) I found a question to ponder: "What's your favorite tea moment?" And it got me thinking. I'm sure I have many great moments in my life that have involved tea, but this is the first I though of. And it stayed with me all last night. So I figure it's worth documenting. As the title says, this can be perceived as "sappy".

On one of the first mornings John slept over (oh so long ago hehe) he made tea and brought it to me in bed. Of course, he did not yet know how I liked my tea, so he brought the milk and sugar with him (not that this was hard, given the kitchen was literally two steps from the bed in my little studio, but stay with me). Anyway, I quickly fix my tea, and while I stirred he returned the milk and sugar to the kitchen. And we together enjoy our tea in bed.

The next morning he fixed my tea exactly the way I like it! (and yes, we had tea in bed again) After only one time, he figured it out and still does it right today.

Now, this is just a bit sappy if you only know that part of the story. But there's more! It may not seem all that meaningful, but to me it is really important. Most of you know my step-father turned out to not be such a great guy. Well, throughout their marriage, he and my mom both enjoyed a morning cup of coffee. He drinks it black and she likes cream and sugar. He always refused to fix her coffee the way she wanted it. He would always bring it black. He adamantly refused to put anything in her coffee. (He actually also once threw out her flavored coffee, which he disliked.)

This may not seem like that big a deal, but to me it's a simple sign of love and respect. It doesn't take much to make tea or coffee. And it takes only a little bit more effort to put in milk and sugar. Your partner should want to give you the world. Obviously those of us not in romance novels know there's no one perfect, but still...If they can't give you something as simple as your morning beverage, the way you want it, then there's something wrong.

So yeah, seeing my mom get disrespected (even in this small way) had it's effect on me. It's the small things that really count. This was just an early time when John did something great that helped me fall in love with him.

Ok end sap.

Gettysburg

So I'm a little behind, but here's a nice post about my trip to Gettysburg last Friday.

Since John was still gone, I knew I would not want to stay at home all day on Friday and do nothing. With nothing to look forward to (John at the end of the day) I knew no work would get done. So I made plans with my friend Andi-we would meet up in Gettysburg, which is about 2-2.5 hour from both of us.

I left early, thinking traffic would be crazy during rush hour. Actually ended up not being too bad once I got past 100. The GPS really wanted me to go through the city, but I was not about to try that. I took 70 to 15, which was a very nice drive. It was raining the entire way, but still not terrible. It was steady and there weren't a lot of cars around so I managed.

It did continue to rain ALL DAY, but that worked well. We started the day with a walk, first along a trail and then we were forging our own path. Yes, we had umbrellas. No, we did not use them. I used to take walks in the rain all of the time. I have gotten used to not doing that, since I'm always on my way somewhere. It's hard to get soaked when you have to then sit at a desk all day. But with nowhere to go, I just let myself enjoy the rain. And it was oh so nice.

Of course, we did end up eating lunch while still soaking wet. Oh well! After lunch we turned the heat on in the car and took the Auto tour around Gettysburg. So many freaking statues/monuments! We took quite a few pictures. I probably won't remember what any of them are though. But they are monuments to something.

Of course, then Andi drove over a concrete marker and we got stuck. Had to call a tow truck to lift us off the "rock". And Mr. Tow Truck Guy almost destroyed her muffler by pulling the car straight across the marker without lifting it up. Silly man. The nice park ranger was just glad we hadn't hit anything historic. I still picture him driving to where we were stuck, hands clenched on the steering wheel, praying to all the gods he knows that we didn't ruin history. He was obviously relieved when he saw what actually happened. Eventually we were off the rock and back on the road.

We wanted to kill some time and get hungry for dinner, so we drove down the road a bit to Cunningham Falls State Park. We saw turtles! Didn't do anything there, just drove around to check it out. John and I will be camping here some day.

After dinner we went our separate ways. The drive home was much worse than the drive back-more cars, more rain, making it hard to see. But I made it alive.

And John came home late Saturday! Words cannot express how great it is having him back. I'm thinking I can handle trips that are up to 4 days long. Sure, I was still lonely, but at day 4 I really just wanted to see his face again. Any trips longer than that will be discouraged.

Desperate Housewives

For those that don't know, I am now a fan of Desperate Housewives. It started around August when I was randomly watching repeats before school started. Then John got me the first season on DVD and it's been crazy ever since. I do still need seasons 3 and 4, but watched season 5 on TV anyway.

Long story short, Bree is the best housewife. I adore her! And this, from the finale, just did me in with giggles:

"The man put chives in my Parisian salad! He should be in a straight-jacket!"

Not a military wife

Well, not a wife at all actually, but I have realized that I was right when years ago I said I couldn't handle being with someone in the military. There is no way I could be left alone for long periods of time.

I feel kind of wimpy, whining about being alone. I am usually such a strong, confident person. But this week I'm a total nut case. I do like being alone sometimes, but usually my alone time ends when someone comes home. Not having anyone else home for days is not good for me. Every noise makes me investigate what it was so I don't start imagining people in my back yard. I haven't been sleeping well at all.

I'm now preparing for the possible freak out that could happen if we do get the scary storms that are expected. I imagine the power will go out and I will be all alone in the dark. And that won't be fun. See-wimpy. I used to love storms! What the heck?!

I am actually dealing with the loneliness better today. It's half over, so I can see the end is near. And I've just kept myself busy with phone calls, catching up with TV, and cleaning. So I am capable of dealing with an empty house. I just don't like it.

Cape Henlopen

John's flight to San Fransisco was super early Sunday morning. That meant we got up at 10 til 5 (yes, am). After not going to bed to know knows when (around 1am?) I dropped him off and then came home and tried to get some more sleep. It didn't go well. I got some, but not a lot.

Knowing that I am prone to panic attacks or just general loneliness, I knew I needed to plan as many activities as possible for while he was gone. Most of those things are around the house stuff to just occupy my time (ie, mop the kitchen floor). That won't totally keep me from being lonely since it'll still be in the quiet house, but it helps.

Anyway, Sunday my friend Rob and I decided to take an adventure to the beach. We ended up at Cape Henlopen in Lewes, Delaware. This was a very nice park-at least where we were. We stayed at the not-so-crowded beach. We had a nice picnic and just sat by the water talking. I even got a little sun. Thank goodness for the gorgeous weather!