There are things going on that I do not want to write about here. But I also need to really get them out. This is frustrating. Of course, I've been talking to some people about these issues, but so far I haven't been able to really say what I need to.
I would like to go to a therapist to sort some things out, but I can't afford to.
From my fortune cookie comes great advice: "You need to control of your emotions. Keep 'em under wraps!" (There's some grammatical issues here, but you get the point.)
I just got back from my first physical therapy appointment. Hopefully this will help my back some, though I admit, I have little faith. But, my therapist loves hiking and writes poetry. How funny is that?
Everyone's married and having babies and I'm young still and not ready. (and maybe won't ever be) But there's so much pressure. It makes life suck. Why can't people keep their mouths shut?!
The leaves here have started to change but it seems some are going straight from green to brown. I wonder if it's better in the mountains.
I wanted to be hiking this weekend, but I am not. I have no plans at all, so I don't know exactly why I won't be hiking/camping. The plans just never materialized.
Friday, October 9, 2009
Friday, October 2, 2009
Photo Shoot
My anniversary lilies had a photo shoot!
Seriously, every time I get flowers I take pictures of them. It's kind of nuts. I have a lot of pictures of lilies...
Seriously, every time I get flowers I take pictures of them. It's kind of nuts. I have a lot of pictures of lilies...
Thursday, October 1, 2009
Holidays?!
The super cold this morning (uh, 47?!) made me realize the holidays are creeping up. And I really should be making plans so I'm not spending ridiculous amounts on plane tickets. So I've spent the day trying to figure out what the best plan is.
I've gone through it all:
Thanksgiving in STL- which would mean xmas with John's family and my first Christmas not at home. Though, we'd do xmas in STL that weekend or something, I'm sure. Probably go get a tree with the fam, which I haven't done in years (and really miss)
Christmas in STL-the usual, then we'd miss Caroline's first xmas
Have the family come here for one of those holidays-which probably means a fairly cranky boyfriend at some point in the week. He needs small doses of the family.
Yes, I went as far as looking up cabins in the Poconos, thinking the entire family might actually spend a holiday together. While I could probably afford this (since I'd be spending money on plane tickets and hotels anyway) my family probably can't afford to come here (5 is a lot of plane tickets) and the boys only have so much time off of school, so travel isn't always practical.
I don't know what the best idea is and for some reason I feel completely stressed out about it this year. But I guess John and I will have to figure it out soon.
I've gone through it all:
Thanksgiving in STL- which would mean xmas with John's family and my first Christmas not at home. Though, we'd do xmas in STL that weekend or something, I'm sure. Probably go get a tree with the fam, which I haven't done in years (and really miss)
Christmas in STL-the usual, then we'd miss Caroline's first xmas
Have the family come here for one of those holidays-which probably means a fairly cranky boyfriend at some point in the week. He needs small doses of the family.
Yes, I went as far as looking up cabins in the Poconos, thinking the entire family might actually spend a holiday together. While I could probably afford this (since I'd be spending money on plane tickets and hotels anyway) my family probably can't afford to come here (5 is a lot of plane tickets) and the boys only have so much time off of school, so travel isn't always practical.
I don't know what the best idea is and for some reason I feel completely stressed out about it this year. But I guess John and I will have to figure it out soon.
Wednesday, September 30, 2009
3rd Anniversary
Yesterday marked 3 years for me and John! And we couldn't be happier :)
(Anyone remember me saying I was NOT going to fall in love and stay in Maryland?)
Anyway, we went out on Saturday to celebrate. We hung around the house most of the day, but the celebrations started in early afternoon. We planned to go to a show in Baltimore, so we found a winery north of the city, but not too far. Of course, I was all excited about it by the time we got on the road, but when we arrived, the gate was locked. We could not figure out how to get Melissa and the wine together. So we just left.
That gave us like 2 hours to kill before the show. But we had no tickets yet, so we went to the theater to get them. Of course, we got a little lost since the GPS was only capable of finding the road, not the specific address. But we found it after some crazy loops. Luckily the show was at a hotel, so there was a restaurant, where we had some drinks.
The show as at Toby's Dinner Theater. We'd been to the one in Columbia back when we were first dating (For Kiss Me Kate) but they were doing Sweeny Todd, and I was not in the mood for human pies on my anniversary. In Baltimore they were doing Aida, which is a great show. Of course, we were pleased to have a good meal and lovers who end up being buried in the sands of Egypt. Always a good time.
As is becoming customary here on the blog, that means a collection of photos from start to finish. (We turned off the computers last night so we could spend the night together, so I am a day late!)
Pretending to fight....way back in 06 (October, maybe?)
At the 3 month mark. There was a video that goes with this where our friend interviews us about the future. Funny stuff, but I don't have it.
Beaches in Connecticut can be cold and rainy. Visiting Brad and Jenny/meeting the family for the first time, April 07.
Classyness
We've been to a lot of weddings.
Recent shot, in Annapolis, Sept 09.
Necessary kissing shot.
(Anyone remember me saying I was NOT going to fall in love and stay in Maryland?)
Anyway, we went out on Saturday to celebrate. We hung around the house most of the day, but the celebrations started in early afternoon. We planned to go to a show in Baltimore, so we found a winery north of the city, but not too far. Of course, I was all excited about it by the time we got on the road, but when we arrived, the gate was locked. We could not figure out how to get Melissa and the wine together. So we just left.
That gave us like 2 hours to kill before the show. But we had no tickets yet, so we went to the theater to get them. Of course, we got a little lost since the GPS was only capable of finding the road, not the specific address. But we found it after some crazy loops. Luckily the show was at a hotel, so there was a restaurant, where we had some drinks.
The show as at Toby's Dinner Theater. We'd been to the one in Columbia back when we were first dating (For Kiss Me Kate) but they were doing Sweeny Todd, and I was not in the mood for human pies on my anniversary. In Baltimore they were doing Aida, which is a great show. Of course, we were pleased to have a good meal and lovers who end up being buried in the sands of Egypt. Always a good time.
As is becoming customary here on the blog, that means a collection of photos from start to finish. (We turned off the computers last night so we could spend the night together, so I am a day late!)
Pretending to fight....way back in 06 (October, maybe?)
At the 3 month mark. There was a video that goes with this where our friend interviews us about the future. Funny stuff, but I don't have it.
Beaches in Connecticut can be cold and rainy. Visiting Brad and Jenny/meeting the family for the first time, April 07.
Classyness
We've been to a lot of weddings.
Recent shot, in Annapolis, Sept 09.
Necessary kissing shot.
Thursday, September 24, 2009
I need a drink
John is having fun at a work happy hour right now.
I'm trying to not let myself log into my work server and starting editing this chapter.
Our TV is broken.
We have a leaking pipe.
I actually have to go to work tomorrow. I'm usually off on Fridays, though I've been so busy the last few weeks that I have worked about half a day from home. But tomorrow we're having a department lunch and another company meeting so I will be in the office.
I spent about half of my day dealing with photo issues at work...on both of the books I'm working on. And now I kind of want to hit one of my author's over the head with something. Not that I don't feel like that often with this guy, but you know... today was especially bad. The other book was going great until this issue came up.
It's also our anniversary on Tues, so we're celebrating this weekend. But you know who has no definitive plans? Yeah, that's me. I've been too busy to do much planning.
Oh well, after 2:00 tomorrow life will be good. I'm leaving work, getting a massage, swinging by the liquor store for part of John's gift, then kicking off a (hopefully) relaxing weekend.
I'm trying to not let myself log into my work server and starting editing this chapter.
Our TV is broken.
We have a leaking pipe.
I actually have to go to work tomorrow. I'm usually off on Fridays, though I've been so busy the last few weeks that I have worked about half a day from home. But tomorrow we're having a department lunch and another company meeting so I will be in the office.
I spent about half of my day dealing with photo issues at work...on both of the books I'm working on. And now I kind of want to hit one of my author's over the head with something. Not that I don't feel like that often with this guy, but you know... today was especially bad. The other book was going great until this issue came up.
It's also our anniversary on Tues, so we're celebrating this weekend. But you know who has no definitive plans? Yeah, that's me. I've been too busy to do much planning.
Oh well, after 2:00 tomorrow life will be good. I'm leaving work, getting a massage, swinging by the liquor store for part of John's gift, then kicking off a (hopefully) relaxing weekend.
Saturday, September 19, 2009
Monday, September 14, 2009
Stuff
Went to the Renaissance Festival yesterday, then to Annapolis for dinner. It was a truly splendid day.
The National Book Festival (in D.C) is the weekend before our anniversary, and therefore the weekend we would have been celebrating. I must now decide if it's too torturous to make John do that or if we should celebrate the following weekend.
I'm conflicted about the festival. There are so many great author that are going to be there (including the fantastic Jodi Picoult!) but 1) I'll probably spend all time time in line for one book signing and miss all the talks or I'll listen to all talks and get no books signed (more likely) 2) I hate crowded things like this 3) I don't know who else would come with me and as I said, I don't want to force John, at least not to go without other male companionship.
Still no actual plans for the anniversary. Mom suggested sky-diving, but that is a big no. I kind of want to go sailing, but I also feel like just staying home.
There's a tree out back with red leaves!
Sons of Anarchy=good show. We watched the entire first season this weekend. Our brains are mushy from too much T.V., but I think they'll recover. It was worth it, after all.
I have 3 books in various stages of editing (freelance work) and I only like(maybe, it's early) one of them. This makes it hard to get things done. They aren't bad, necessarily (it's my job to make them worthwhile, after all) they're just not what I would prefer to read.
I feel like I've devoted all my free time in the evenings to editing and none to writing. That really needs to be fixed. Weekends have been full of life stuff (and yes, T.V. = life stuff in that it was Melissa and John together time) and I haven't gotten enough "work" done. Not actually a bad thing, really, just need to finish something.
The National Book Festival (in D.C) is the weekend before our anniversary, and therefore the weekend we would have been celebrating. I must now decide if it's too torturous to make John do that or if we should celebrate the following weekend.
I'm conflicted about the festival. There are so many great author that are going to be there (including the fantastic Jodi Picoult!) but 1) I'll probably spend all time time in line for one book signing and miss all the talks or I'll listen to all talks and get no books signed (more likely) 2) I hate crowded things like this 3) I don't know who else would come with me and as I said, I don't want to force John, at least not to go without other male companionship.
Still no actual plans for the anniversary. Mom suggested sky-diving, but that is a big no. I kind of want to go sailing, but I also feel like just staying home.
There's a tree out back with red leaves!
Sons of Anarchy=good show. We watched the entire first season this weekend. Our brains are mushy from too much T.V., but I think they'll recover. It was worth it, after all.
I have 3 books in various stages of editing (freelance work) and I only like(maybe, it's early) one of them. This makes it hard to get things done. They aren't bad, necessarily (it's my job to make them worthwhile, after all) they're just not what I would prefer to read.
I feel like I've devoted all my free time in the evenings to editing and none to writing. That really needs to be fixed. Weekends have been full of life stuff (and yes, T.V. = life stuff in that it was Melissa and John together time) and I haven't gotten enough "work" done. Not actually a bad thing, really, just need to finish something.
Saturday, September 12, 2009
Crabbing
Having not grown up in Maryland, I had never been crabbing. For the last two summers, I begged John to take me. I needed that experience (one he'd had many times). Well we would have gone last year in North Carolina, but I got sick and that never happened. So this year, we made it a plan. Of course, I still need to go crabbing in Maryland, but still...at least now I've done it. And loved it!
John and I bought some chicken necks and let them sit outside for a day. We found a great spot and were ready for a fun crab-filled evening. Then other people decided to join in, which was really nice. Of course, a wine festival (I know!) was going on in the park, so we had to venture off away from all the people (I cannot answer why i didn't first partake in the wine... now at least I know it's there for next year).
Anyway, we tied the chicken to some strings and threw them in the water. It wasn't long before we had crabs biting and they were being scooped up in our net. There were a lot of tiny crabs that we didn't keep. And then there was my Moby Dick. The giant crab that got onto my line and right as the net hit him, he let go, and somehow scurried away. I tried for the rest of the night to get him back, but had no success.
When the sun began to go down across the water, we packed up and headed home.
The crabs tried to organize an escape.
Ian was worried about these little worms that were all over the crabs, so he had to wash them. Here's where we found a few dead guys that we had to throw out.
Hi little crab, I'm going to eat you!
John was proud of his loot. And very glad he finally made his lady happy by teaching her to catch crabs... (wow that sounds awful!)
Mike helped us season with Old Bay.
They're ready for steaming!
Too hot to eat at first...
We only got about 4 crabs each, but they were so very satisfying.
John and I bought some chicken necks and let them sit outside for a day. We found a great spot and were ready for a fun crab-filled evening. Then other people decided to join in, which was really nice. Of course, a wine festival (I know!) was going on in the park, so we had to venture off away from all the people (I cannot answer why i didn't first partake in the wine... now at least I know it's there for next year).
Anyway, we tied the chicken to some strings and threw them in the water. It wasn't long before we had crabs biting and they were being scooped up in our net. There were a lot of tiny crabs that we didn't keep. And then there was my Moby Dick. The giant crab that got onto my line and right as the net hit him, he let go, and somehow scurried away. I tried for the rest of the night to get him back, but had no success.
When the sun began to go down across the water, we packed up and headed home.
The crabs tried to organize an escape.
Ian was worried about these little worms that were all over the crabs, so he had to wash them. Here's where we found a few dead guys that we had to throw out.
Hi little crab, I'm going to eat you!
John was proud of his loot. And very glad he finally made his lady happy by teaching her to catch crabs... (wow that sounds awful!)
Mike helped us season with Old Bay.
They're ready for steaming!
Too hot to eat at first...
We only got about 4 crabs each, but they were so very satisfying.
Monday, September 7, 2009
Sunday, September 6, 2009
Outer Banks Summary
Ok, let's see what's to be said of vacation this year (only a week after our return).
We again went with (mostly) people John went to college with. Mike and Marissa plan it every year, so we let them! We had one new couple this year and Dale had a new girl with him, but otherwise we all knew each other.
We went down to John's parents on Sat night to stay. Since most of the gang lives in Southern Maryland we all met down there, so it made more sense to drive down sat then to add 2 hour to the tip Sun morning.
We stayed in a great house this year (one we may return to in the future). John and I had our own bathroom, which was nice, as well as our own door that led to the deck. The house had a pool and a hot tub too, which was great when we couldn't swim in the ocean.
We spent a lot of time on the 4x4 beach, since many of the guys like driving on the sand, and it's usually less crowded. Because of Hurricane Bill (beginning of the week) and Danny (the end) there were a few days when we weren't supposed to swim in the water. This wasn't really too terrible for me, since I don't usually swim much in the ocean. I often get in deep enough that the waves won't kill me and I can cool off. (I did actually do a bunch of wave hopping one day.)
One day we saw a bunch of dolphins. At one point there were probably close to a dozen. Some were even jumping pretty high out of the water. It's pretty impossible to get a picture of them, but I swear, there're right under the surface in this one. I did take a video to prove their existence.
Other than sitting on the beach soaking in the rays (I have a crazy great tan!) we sat by the pool, drank beer, hung out at the house... you know, stuff.
We also ventured away from the house for a few activities. I came in 3rd (of 4) in mini golf. I started out so well, making par (2) on like the first 4 holes. Then it just went downhill. But I didn't do as bad as I usually do. And really, no one was spectacular.
One night, a group of us went go-karting. Actually, I did not, I watched, but still. It was really entertaining. Especially the last round, where the workers got in car and everyone was ramming one another. We were the last people there before close, so they let us have fun. It was pretty sweet for all.
On our last night, people played poker. I was in charge of shuffling. And I did some bar-tending. I did not put on my bikini and act like a Vegas waitress though.
I was determined to find some North Carolina wines in order to knock that of my list of states. The first place we went to had a tasting, but it was just the guy's selections of the day, nothing from NC. I did buy 3 bottles at that shop though. The second place we went, I tasted a few great NC wines, and bought 1 bottle.
The only 3 negatives:
We did an all-you-cat eat buffet, which was disastrous. I don't like buffets to start out. I just don't like having to get up and down and the food isn't always great. Well, we waited for like 2 hours for a table, that's where the bad started. Now, there were 13 of us, but we called ahead to see if that would be a problem and were told to give them 30 mins noticed, so we did. Still waited 2 hours.
Then, we were crammed at a table meant for 8-10ppl, max. And the food wasn't spectacular. The crab legs were good, which is what most people wanted.
The woman from the new couple was also the most annoying person ever. I had to leave the room a few times when she was in it, to keep from pulling my hair out. But really, with 13 ppl, if one is annoying, that's not bad. And it's easy to avoid her.
On Friday, a 12-yr-old boy went missing while body boarding, right from the beach in front of our house. We figured something was up when we saw a coast guard chopper patrolling. Then there was a guy on a jet ski, a coast guard boat, and a few lifeguards on ATVs, obviously not just the regular patrol. They found his body a few days later-super sad.
We also went crabbing! More on that in my next post.
So yeah, the week went by super fast, but it was so fantastic. I was really to the point of needing a vacation and this one was very relaxing. Though the discussions about buying a beach house really just made me want to move to NC and be close all the time. There has to be a publishing company somewhere down there, right? (Yeah, if only John could have as great a job there...)
We again went with (mostly) people John went to college with. Mike and Marissa plan it every year, so we let them! We had one new couple this year and Dale had a new girl with him, but otherwise we all knew each other.
We went down to John's parents on Sat night to stay. Since most of the gang lives in Southern Maryland we all met down there, so it made more sense to drive down sat then to add 2 hour to the tip Sun morning.
We stayed in a great house this year (one we may return to in the future). John and I had our own bathroom, which was nice, as well as our own door that led to the deck. The house had a pool and a hot tub too, which was great when we couldn't swim in the ocean.
We spent a lot of time on the 4x4 beach, since many of the guys like driving on the sand, and it's usually less crowded. Because of Hurricane Bill (beginning of the week) and Danny (the end) there were a few days when we weren't supposed to swim in the water. This wasn't really too terrible for me, since I don't usually swim much in the ocean. I often get in deep enough that the waves won't kill me and I can cool off. (I did actually do a bunch of wave hopping one day.)
One day we saw a bunch of dolphins. At one point there were probably close to a dozen. Some were even jumping pretty high out of the water. It's pretty impossible to get a picture of them, but I swear, there're right under the surface in this one. I did take a video to prove their existence.
Other than sitting on the beach soaking in the rays (I have a crazy great tan!) we sat by the pool, drank beer, hung out at the house... you know, stuff.
We also ventured away from the house for a few activities. I came in 3rd (of 4) in mini golf. I started out so well, making par (2) on like the first 4 holes. Then it just went downhill. But I didn't do as bad as I usually do. And really, no one was spectacular.
One night, a group of us went go-karting. Actually, I did not, I watched, but still. It was really entertaining. Especially the last round, where the workers got in car and everyone was ramming one another. We were the last people there before close, so they let us have fun. It was pretty sweet for all.
On our last night, people played poker. I was in charge of shuffling. And I did some bar-tending. I did not put on my bikini and act like a Vegas waitress though.
I was determined to find some North Carolina wines in order to knock that of my list of states. The first place we went to had a tasting, but it was just the guy's selections of the day, nothing from NC. I did buy 3 bottles at that shop though. The second place we went, I tasted a few great NC wines, and bought 1 bottle.
The only 3 negatives:
We did an all-you-cat eat buffet, which was disastrous. I don't like buffets to start out. I just don't like having to get up and down and the food isn't always great. Well, we waited for like 2 hours for a table, that's where the bad started. Now, there were 13 of us, but we called ahead to see if that would be a problem and were told to give them 30 mins noticed, so we did. Still waited 2 hours.
Then, we were crammed at a table meant for 8-10ppl, max. And the food wasn't spectacular. The crab legs were good, which is what most people wanted.
The woman from the new couple was also the most annoying person ever. I had to leave the room a few times when she was in it, to keep from pulling my hair out. But really, with 13 ppl, if one is annoying, that's not bad. And it's easy to avoid her.
On Friday, a 12-yr-old boy went missing while body boarding, right from the beach in front of our house. We figured something was up when we saw a coast guard chopper patrolling. Then there was a guy on a jet ski, a coast guard boat, and a few lifeguards on ATVs, obviously not just the regular patrol. They found his body a few days later-super sad.
We also went crabbing! More on that in my next post.
So yeah, the week went by super fast, but it was so fantastic. I was really to the point of needing a vacation and this one was very relaxing. Though the discussions about buying a beach house really just made me want to move to NC and be close all the time. There has to be a publishing company somewhere down there, right? (Yeah, if only John could have as great a job there...)
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