Today's Annoyances

1) People who don't know when they should shut up and not ask questions; also, those people trying to tell me they know how to do something better than I do.

2) Being "taught" how to edit. Seriously, if anyone at that training doesn't already know everything we covered, then they need to be fired.

3) People who hit bears with their trucks and/or leave food outside for bears; in addition, people who leave food outside, on purpose, because they want to watch bears from their window, and then complain when there are bears in their yard.

4) Airlines who have decided to charge money to check bags. And who claim I don't understand that there's a gas crisis.

5) Clients who don't know how to read emails and/or forget the information they've already read.

6) Being forced to write math items. I don't do math!

7) People who say they won't refill the soap bottle (but he did, so he's forgiven)

8) People who cannot seem to get in the lane they are supposed to be in and so they wait until the very last moment, then hold up traffic in other lanes trying to squeeze into a lane that is not moving one bit.

9) People who cross lanes when they shouldn't and almost crash into people.

10) Not liking anything about Maryland because of my already bad mood and thus not being able to think of anything to do on the long weekend.

11) The fact that everyone and their dog goes camping on holiday weekends and so it is most often not an enjoyable experience, therefore eliminating it as a possible weekend activity.

12) People outside with jackhammers early in the morning while I am still asleep.

13) Car dealerships that give new car buyers the option of $250 worth of gas or a gun; and the people that choose a gun (yeah, Missouri!)

14) Presidential candidates who originally wanted to punish certain states for not following the rules, but now has changed her mind because that means more votes for her.

15) People who still smoke and complain about the rise in cigarette prices.

16) The fact that the government has not given every child in America a Wii and a WiiFit... it's a great way to fight obesity. The government should subsidize it. Seriously.

Koko

So, Koko the gorilla and I have the same birthday. (July 4th, if you didn't know) Though, she was born in '71, so she's a few years older. Pretty cool though. And Koko's real name is Hanabi-Ko, which means "fireworks child" in Japanese. I don't know why the gorilla has a Japanese name, but whatever. I like it.

I think, if I were to get a tattoo ever, I would get the Japanese symbol for "firework"." That'd be neat. But I don't really want a tattoo.

It was a boring day at work, these are the things I thought about! Forgive the insanity.

Poetry Time

Nightmare

The heat shuts off
as it reaches 65
and the house
settles he’s still
chasing me with
the knife he still
wants to kill me I
don’t know why
he just runs at me
with the sharp blade
glistening in his hand
his eyes make me turn
away in fear there’s
something there
then he is gone I take
a breath and try to plan
my next move I know
he hasn’t given up
then I hear him down
in the laundry room he’s
going through my dirty
clothes that doesn’t seem
odd to me I crawl down
out of the bed and hide
behind it I am ready
for him ready for him
to come up
the stairs I will throw
this bottle of water
at him and he will
be defeated
I wake up and wonder
why I’m on the floor
naked

God Hates Shrimp

This is just one of the things that makes me glad I am no longer religious. I can find great humor in websites such as this: God Hates Shrimp. The Bible, and some religious people, make me laugh.

Happy Thursday

The semester is officially over.

The science project of insanity is officially over.

It is a good day.

Now it's time for a summer full of writing so I actually have a full manuscript next year. Eek!

Baseball Jingles

So on the radio this morning, they were talking about the Nationals' jingle "Nuts about the Nats" and just for fun, they played the Orioles one as well. I had never really thought of baseball teams having jingles, but it is an insanely fun idea. Now, the Cardinals have their "theme song" "The Budweiser Clydesdale Jingle (Here Comes the King)." But let me tell you, even though I can hum this tune all day long, there are no words. We need a fun song to sing! I am freaked out by the scary, cheesy, 70s-esque songs that the Os and the Nats have to offer, but they are still fun. So the Cardinals need one of these!

Orioles Magic:


Cardinals/Here Comes the King (at the old Busch, aww)

Autobiography vs Memoir

So, my mom was asking me (because I, the writer, know all of these things) what the difference was between an autobiography and a memoir. This was spurred because of Barbara Walters' new "memoir".

I told her I thought it was just a marketing ploy. Since memoir is selling so well now, calling this book a memoir would work a lot better than just saying it's an autobiography. It's probably not really a memoir.

But she needed a little more than that. So I said an autobiography was more straightforward information, which covers all, or a majority of, a person's life. Memoir, on the other hand, is more narrow. It will focus on an illness, or a significant theme or series of events in one's life. It is also creative nonfiction rather than just fiction. It should read more like a fictional tale.

This opened up a whole wild discussion about writing and who can/should be writing books, but that's not really important.

Mom wasn't really sure about my analysis, so I went on a search. Apparently:

"An autobiography focuses on the chronology of the writer's entire life while a memoir covers one specific aspect of the writer�s life. So, if I chose to write about my complete life up to this point, including growing up in Cincinnati, my time in New York, the few years I spent in Chicago and eventually landing at Writer's Digest, I'd write an autobiography. If wrote a book about the winter of my sophomore year in high school where I got my tongue stuck to an icy pole, I'd write a memoir."

So yeah. I don't know what Barbara Walters wrote or what Hillary Clinton wrote (mom's other question, hers is an autobio but written by someone else...) but it's something to think about. I don't know that I ever really thought about the difference, it just seemed very clear. Memoir is so much about the creative that it never came close to being similar. But to the normal American, can they understand the difference? Especially when I don't know that it's portrayed correctly and lines now blur?

Vacation Planning!

I just spent the last 2 hours planning vacations I will probably never take. Or maybe I can convince John that spas are not scary and we'll go on one for our anniversary or something. It could happen.

But yeah, this just proves, again, that I need a vacation.

You would think I would have just done work in planning our real vacation. But no, I didn't do that. Fictional vacations are more fun?!

Happy Mother's Day

It is cold and rainy and has been a great day. We had lunch with John's family and then came home and watched Last of the Mohicans. Movie complete with snuggling and warm tea. Mmm rainy days.

Now I kind of miss my mom.

Poetry Revisions

I think my poetry revisions are turning me into a nut case.

I just spent 10 minutes trying to get a line right, one freaking line, and my problems all fell to one "the" which I wanted to delete because it would make my line look better but couldn't because it would sound weird.

This was after spending 15 minutes thinking of a word to rhyme with "driven."

By the end of this I will have completely lost it, I think.

Do not do revisions all in two days!